Thursday, April 24, 2008

Love of Life...

This morning when I was walking on the beach, the tide was out and the sand was completely washed clean and smooth. It reminded me of a brand new slate waiting for us to write our futures on it. All of us. And if we made a mistake we could start again. Guaranteed! The sun was shining, the sea was sparkling and I felt serene and full - I felt like the world was my oyster. I can't remember when I last felt so 'right' and confident in my life? It's been a while...

I try and 'walk my talk' and pay attention to balancing all the areas of my life and carefully noticing everything I do - especially now so I can write about it! However the price of not paying attention can be high...

After a severe trauma it's as though our very life shuts down. Everything is 'un-automatic' and seems rusted shut. Every step takes effort and when you want to do something simple - like smile at someone and say hi - you have to deliberately make sure that you stretch the corners of your mouth 'up', make your eyes smile and concentrate on forming the word 'Hi' with your lips and make your voice work. It's hard work! Every area of life has to be carefully tended and balanced. It's so tempting to stay home. To cut off from the world. Surely this is just too much effort?

NO! You may feel down and hopeless some days but please, dig deep in your soul, fire up your computer and just type one finger in front of the other. One day you realize that, while you weren't paying attention, life has become playful and joyful again. Just like that! (Well, after a ton of effort!)

A walk on the beach is no longer just a walk. Sure it's still walking on the sand for exercise and air - but now it's so much more too! It's balancing on logs; walking heel to toe and actually feeling like checking out my prints in the sand; pulling pure air deep into my lungs and smiling at the sun. I'm smiling naturally and saying Hi to fellow walkers - very aware that some may be aching or lonely or sad. And another thing - dogs now come up to me and stick their noses in my lap! For months they have avoided me?

Never forget that somehow this precious 'love of life' does come back. Be patient with yourself. Be persistent. It always comes back eventually. And it really is so worth the wait!

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