On the way - in a zero visibility blizzard...

I've no idea why it feels this way? Except maybe that I have realized how may zillion 'details' need organizing (I'm a perfectionist... bad habit) before I can really move ahead.

I have spent hours researching keywords and spring-cleaning my database... and of course it has to be done RIGHT NOW! Good job I work for myself cos anyone else would just walk out. Yuk!

Aside from that... I have found lots to be inspired by recently. My friend ANN- who is a brilliant and zany writer from Boston - blogged so enthusiastically about blogging (which I had been resisting) - and made it sound like actual fun. Yay! I must find out how to link two blogs together so I can show you what I mean... I would love to write like her when I grow up! The best thing about blogs is that you don't ramble too much like you do in a private diary. In case someone might read it... I can imagine me re-reading this in a year or two and being able to actually understand it. Neat!

Another woman who really inspired me is the wife of one of the soccer players who had their annual awards dinner in my town last night. They gave her and her husband a standing ovation and have formed an association to 'kick MS"... It gave me goose-bumps, standing behind a crowd of several hundred, strong, healthy, applauding men. Wow... I also realized how she has had to struggle at the very time she feels 'un-able'. To find information about MS and its treatment, as well as every other disease, spurs me on to finish my website. I remember well the difference that being part of a therapeutic community felt and I want to publish tons of information in plain language.

I have some grandiose plans to market this website... Including several 'tours' of hospital rehab units and traveling at the same time. Part of me shakes my head and wonders who on earth I think I am that anyone would want to come to my presentations. I haven't even finished my first presentation yet, let alone presented it! On the other hand: why not? I talked to a woman today in North Carolina that I know who I'm hoping will help me build a tour down south.

So funny though that I have had several people phone me to give me feedback about my site rather than leave comments! Is that because many of the people I know don't feel comfortable with the internet? Or do I just notice it because I crave some feedback? Maybe I'm more of an exhibitionist than I thought? One thing's for sure; I wish I had a business partner...

I'm still blown away by the similarities between building a business and rebuilding a life. Of course there is no emotional and physical loss when you're business building. And hopefully it's a much quicker process. But otherwise... I am also very aware of my own physical fragility - and also blown away by the genuine lack of understanding that people have of what that means... I guess I shouldn't be surprised because I still have trouble really realizing it - and many neurological problems are invisible. The people who seem to understand me best are those people who've 'been there'.

So, am I enjoying this journey? You bet! The most amazing thing is the fire within me. It is starting to blaze and crackle for the first time in 23 years. Now I just need to make sure the whole darn house doesn't catch fire and work on keeping it stoked and make sure nothing comes along to douse it.

AND... I must make sure I go for a walk on the beach tomorrow morning and go to my dance class... And pay my bills and do some word exercises on FREE RICE And read all my google alerts...

It's never been more important to try and keep my self running smoothly...